Friday, October 07, 2005
New and Improved!
I'm lucky enough to go to the public university of a large southern state, which means that I get free reading material in the form of the university's weekly paper. Most of the material is "Student Council Buys Three New Folding Tables for International Club" type of stuff. Not exactly the hard-hitting news of the day.
In the back section, the future journalism majors practice their op-ed skills with long, usually thoughtful columns. One young man's column is called "What You're Afraid to Say". For a minute, I thought I'd get Seanbaby, but instead, what I got was rather pedestrian. To wit:
The AARP is fighting a winning battle against us with Social Security and we have yet to challenge them. The democrats are looking for more ways to tax us but yet we continue to support them regardless.
Yawn.
So, a letter that I might or might not send to the young man:
Dear Mr. Huff,
I read your column of October 4, "I Say What You're Afraid to Say", with some interest. However, I must point out that no where in the column did you, at any time, say anything that anyone would be afraid to say.
I point out the following example:
The AARP is fighting a winning battle against us with Social Security and we have yet to challenge them. The democrats are looking for more ways to tax us but yet we continue to support them regardless.
Aside from the comments about how recall votes fail, these are probably the two most "controversial" statements in the entire article. Myself, a lifelong leftist, was not even so much as provoked. Therefore, I felt that I should give you some advice as you continue your journalistic career. (Before you moan, I must warn you that as a journalist, you will be getting unwanted advice from all corners, so you should probably get comfortable with the idea.)
I find the column title, "I Say What You're Afraid to Say", highly misleading. I expected no-holds-barred opinion making, and what do I get? The sad attempt at provocation in italics, above.
The first sentence hasn't been anything that people have been afraid to say for at least a year now, or at least since President Bush introduced the concept of changing Social Security. The President has a veritable legion of defenders, many of whom mark up the conflict in terms of "AARP vs. the Young" as you yourself have done. Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, the list goes on. And for those three there must be thousands of lesser commenters and millions of conservatives who agree with them and repeat these points to their friends. The idea that the young are going to end up on the short end of the stick when it comes to Social Security reform is not a claim that anyone on the right side of the spectrum is afraid to make in public.
The second sentence is even weaker than the first. The idea that the Democratic Party is the "tax and spend" party has been parroted by politicians of all stripes on the right side of the spectrum since the days of Ronald Reagan, and I doubt that you were even alive when Mr. Reagan took office. People are actually proud of that statement on the right -- they certainly don't fear it and they're not afraid to say it.
(I also point out that "Democratic" should be in upper case. If you are the managing editor, you bear some responsibility for the oversight. Using the lower case "d" leaves the impression that democracy is the wrong form of government and we should covert to maybe an oligarchy or a meritocracy.)
So for free, I'm going to give you some things that people are REALLY afraid to say. I'll try not to speak from one side of the fence.
1. All laws regarding drug use should be rolled back. Marijuana, heroin, LSD - people should be allowed to put into their bodies any substance they choose.
2. The homeless should be rounded up and put into work camps. This gets the homeless off the street, teaches them a useful trade, and puts money back into the local economy. The 19th century workhouse should be brought back.
3. Doctors who perform abortions should be shot.
4. Religion is a sham. Anyone who believes that Jesus Christ is the savior of mankind should be disqualified from public office, and churches should be taxed at confiscatory rates.
5. Prostitution should be made legal. Let women sell their bodies, it's the American way!
6. The public stockade should be brought back. We could put up three stocks at Five Points, and the scofflaws imprisoned there should be pelted with garbage and face the verbal abuse of the public.
7. The only people who watch pro football on television are repressed homosexuals.
8. Those who support the homosexual agenda should have their homes firebombed.
9. Single parents should not be attending classes at Georgia State. They should spend time at home with their neglected children.
10. The Iraqi "insurgents" are actually defending their country, and I don't weep any tears for American soldiers who die.
(* * *)
Certainly, any of the above statements would be things that people would think twice about saying in public. (Except, maybe, number one.) I think that if you were take any of these ideas from either side of the fence - I get the impression that you're a conservative, so you could save the liberal ideas for some future editor - that your readership would pick up, and the column's name would be more appropriate.
Hoping for better things,
--tinheart.
posted by Green Voicemail 10/07/2005 11:30:00 AM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Cue the Imperial March!!
I suppose that Satan's poll ratings are now so low that he could put anyone up for a nomination for the Supreme Court. As Seanbaby said, "the only thing that could keep President Bush's approval ratings from dipping below 30 is a law making all numbers under 30 illegal."
You almost get the conclusion that he's joking. "Hey, Dick, watch me nominate this nuthatch for Supreme Court. Tomorrow, O'Reilly will be telling everyone what a great choice this is! I tell you, Dick, I could put Mengele up there tomorrow and my good friend Rush will tell everyone that he's an honored physician who has worked in government for years. Now, where's my bottle?"
I remember I visited the Berlin Wall in 1988. I saw an English couple, a mother and a little boy. The little boy asked, "Why did they build the wall?" and the mother answered, in all honesty, "they just want to show their bum to the world."
That's Bush. Showing his bum to the world, ready to take a fiery dump over us all.
Guess what, ladies, who voted for Bush? When your right to an abortion disappears in a cloud of sulphur, don't come bitching to me. Anakin Skywalker thought serving the Emperor would give him the secret to eternal life, but all he got for his troubles was Obi-Wan Kenobi kicking his ass and a plastic bucket for a head, forever. So when Satan is using your mouth for the mopbucket of Hell's floor, well, it's just the cost of doing business with The Dark One.
Meanwhile, Harry Reid tells us that this is -- guess what -- a good choice. Or that it could be worse. Bush could have nominated Carrot Top, for example. Or Gallagher. Imagine Gallagher, smashing melons at the Supreme Court.
As for me, I'm going back to watching baseball and not reading the news. The Left will just have to carry the burden of saving humanity in my absence. With the Democrats you've got in Congress, good luck is all I have to say.
posted by Green Voicemail 10/05/2005 03:00:00 PM
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