Green Voicemail

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Left Wing Offense

Some news: my wife and I are heading off to Missouri to attend the funeral of our beloved hippie uncle. LONG road trip, and we'll probably be gone for four days. And I really doubt I'll have a chance to blog, or blog comment.

Therefore, I make my Left Wing Offense picks for Sunday ahead of schedule:

DETROIT over Arizona
Atlanta over TAMPA BAY
Buffalo over MIAMI
Carolina over NEW ORLEANS
BALTIMORE over Cincinnati
NY JETS over Houston
Minnesota over CHICAGO
New England over CLEVELAND
ST. LOUIS over San Francisco
INDIANAPOLIS over Tennessee
SAN DIEGO over Denver
Kansas City over OAKLAND
WASHINGTON over NY Giants (my 'WTF--?' pick)
Pittsburgh over JACKSONVILLE
SEATTLE over Dallas

See you soon!

posted by Green Voicemail 12/02/2004 06:20:00 AM

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

All The Good Christmas News You'll Be Hearing

Things are going great in Iraq. Honest.

From the Christian Science Monitor :

Faced with the problem of protecting upcoming elections and securing former insurgent stronghold, the US military tells NBC it will need between 10,000 and 11,000 more troops in Iraq. NBC-TV reported Monday night that this will "temporarily" bring the total number of US forces in Iraq to 150,000. As a result many soldiers and marines who were scheduled to leave Iraq this month will have to stay longer, while other troops will be sent to Iraq earlier than scheduled.

They'll be there "temporarily". About 2 years. I suppose anything not "infinite" is "temporary" now according to those who "make their own reality". Reading further down:

Although fighting there is less intense than earlier this month, firefights still continue in the city. An Associated Press reported Monday quoted International Red Cross officials as saying that the Iraqi Red Crescent has established a relief center in Fallujah, but "continued fighting between US-led forces and insurgents makes it impossible for doctors and nurses to move around and treat the wounded ..."

This is funny because we supposedly achieved a great victory at Fallujah! You mean the fighting ISN'T OVER YET? Hey, maybe they're just "dead-enders"! Myself, I've heard all kinds of rumors from unreliable sources. For example, that the insurgents have snuck back into Fallujah and the US only holds about 30 percent of the city. Or that the US have been using chemical weapons to fight the anti-US forces. Either reason would be a great reason not to let international relief agencies enter the city.

Of course, you're going to hear very little about Fallujah over the coming month. Wal-Mart didn't make a whole lot of money last month, and there's a worry about the economy. And the rule is, "bad news means people don't buy", according to Marketing 101. So you're not going to hear much of anything bad, just "elections, elections elections!" in Iraq, the 30th "turning point" in a whole series of turning points.

"When the Iraqis elect a new government, the people will support it wholeheartedly, and the insurgents will lose hope? Can't you liberals see that?" Don't worry, the "blind liberals" will be given a slew of brand new "turning points" all throughout 2005 and 2006 -- unless we leave before then, and that won't happen, since departing would mean that Boy George Isn't God.

The result: more American soldiers killed, and no progress in Iraq.

A lot of time, you'll hear the argument, "things aren't that bad in Iraq" or "the liberal media never reports the GOOD news coming out of Iraq!" Let me tell the cementheads something. If the Iraqis did like us, if they drove the insurgents out of a city, if there was a parade somewhere, if an Iraqi hugged an American, it would be on the air 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Face it, good news ain't hard to find if you can move around to get some of it.

Look at South Vietnam. American GIs walked about Hanoi, visited markets, prostitutes, schools, mingled with Vietnamese every day. Took home movies. You could have found good news there, I suppose, if you looked for it.

Americans are holed up in their bases. They don't go out except in bulk numbers, always armed. "Speed is our friend", one GI in Iraq said. You don't stop the car for nothing. There is no mingling without an armed escort. If you are hated so much that you can't even walk around freely in the market without risking your life, there IS NO good news, if good news means, "the Iraqis are thinking significantly differently about America".

You might find a few Iraqis in Fallujah that are glad we got rid of the US forces (we think). You'll probably find a lot more who are ticked off that we bombed their city. So that won't be on the news, much, just news about our military victory that means nothing. Come April 2005, we'll be liberating Fallujah again.

Such is the "good news" from Iraq.

Oh, and by the way, the Sandinistas are winning a lot of elections in Nicaragua. Guess we'll have to give the Nicaraguans their freedom again.

posted by Green Voicemail 11/30/2004 01:18:00 PM

Monday, November 29, 2004

Are Stem Cells More Powerful Than Jesus?

"Rise, I command you!

From Yahoo!

A South Korean woman paralyzed for 20 years is walking again after scientists say they repaired her damaged spine using stem cells derived from umbilical cord blood.

Hwang Mi-Soon, 37, had been bedridden since damaging her back in an accident two decades ago.

Last week her eyes glistened with tears as she walked again with the help of a walking frame at a press conference where South Korea researchers went public for the first time with the results of their stem-cell therapy.

They said it was the world's first published case in which a patient with spinal cord injuries had been successfully treated with stem cells from umbilical cord blood.

As I said elsewhere, she may be going to hell but she'll be going there on her own two feet.

posted by Green Voicemail 11/29/2004 01:19:00 PM

Supreme Court Declines to Hear Massachusetts Gay-Marriage Challenge

Here come the brides!

From the Feminist Daily News Wire :

The US Supreme Court today let stand a Massachusetts Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage. The challenge to the Massachusetts court ruling came from a coalition of right-wing, anti-gay groups. Their lawsuit was thrown out by a federal trial judge, and that decision was upheld by the First Circuit Court of Appeals, according to Bloomberg. The US Supreme Court declined to hear the case without comment, according to the Associated Press.

I wonder why the Supreme Court wasn't up to the challenge -- you think that Scalia would be sporting a chubby under his robe to prove how much he loves Jay-SUS!
Anyone have any idea as to why they let this one stand?

posted by Green Voicemail 11/29/2004 01:00:00 PM

Sunday, November 28, 2004

"What You Mean 'Us' Kemosabe?"

"Tonto! My faithful sidekick! Tonto? ...Tonto...?"

Brave Iraqi police are at it again. From this Yahoo! article:

US military commanders say insurgents want to demoralise the country's fledgling security forces in the city, much as they did earlier this month by killing police and torching their stations, prompting most of the 5,000-strong force to quit.

Guess the Vietnamization of Iraq isn't going as planned.

posted by Green Voicemail 11/28/2004 04:49:00 PM

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